I am having a presentation this Thursday and I am completely prepared for it! More than that, i was prepared with the content last week! That is an all time record. This does not end the story. I have a project report due on December and I am working on it now. When I was back in India, the earliest I have done a task was a day before the deadline. I am getting organized and even though it is not anywhere near to what others over here are, it does scares me. I am scared that I am mutating.
So, what is it that scares me?? To answer this question we should go back in time, say 1 year back, or anytime when I was in India. Those were the days when I used to say/brag that the basic reason what motivates me to study further is my laziness. And the explanation goes somewhat like this, in brief: “I was lucky throughout my life. I never worked hard to reach this level. I still don’t; I am probably the laziest guy in the whole group and still I am not doing bad. Hence I am dreaming of higher levels because even if it is tougher to handle I always have the option of working hard.”.
That is what that scares me. All these regularity. Does my subconscious thinks that this is something which is out of my league? Am I saturated with what I can do? Will I be in a situation where I can never use my ‘option of working hard’ theory?
Well, I don’t know..
PS: In fact I am loving the change. I wish I were more sincere and systematic. (My subconscious thinks that, this is not enough to tame the cat )