As is evident to anyone who has read this blog, I was completely a different person 10 years back. Back then, I was uncomfortable and creepy around girls. Right now, I am just creepy and that somehow makes them uncomfortable (emoji of disbelief!). Jokes aside, it took me around 23 years to talk to girls without awkward silences and extreme sweating. At 23, for every female friend I had there was an incarnation of Lord Vishnu. I had promised myself to change that and the last 8 years have given me enough time to make a lot of amazing female friends (which points to the most disturbing milestone of crossing 30 and is a topic for another day). I was so good at making female friends that I even forgot about the existence of the old me who was shy and uncomfortable in the presence of the sexier sex! You can imagine how bad it was for me when I brag about getting friend-zoned on my blog!
A friend of a friend of a friend has introduced Lakshmi a few years back and we had the type of friendship which I call the Joker relationship. We smile (a good wide grin) and node our heads whenever we see each other. We were both comfortable in this platonic relationship of wide grins and head nodes and followed it religiously for a long time.
One fine day while I was in the canteen queue weighing the health benefits of French fries against carrot juice, I noticed Lakshmi standing in front of me ordering her lunch. She was passing pleasantries and enquiring about the health of his grandmother while he took the order. I realized that this is the right time to take our friendship to the next level by actually talking to her. Among all the things in the world I decided to say “Chaalu girl, being nice to the canteen guy so that he will get your order right”. The voices in my head were screaming at me to stop but my vocal cord didn’t bother. With stunned disbelief she said, “What?!”
That What was my last olive branch and I should have taken it by saying something like, “No, I was just kidding. Have a good day”. But a little voice from the corner of my head said “Maybe she didn’t really hear what you said or probably she really liked what you said and wants to hear it again. Whatever be the case, you should stand by your words”. Ditching all the angel voices in my head I gave preference to that bleak voice and repeated, “I was saying, Chaalu girl, being nice to the canteen guy so that he will get your order right”. While uttering those words I could slowly see the source of that little voice and it was none other than the past me grinning at me slowly putting on the sunglasses and saying “I am back”.
I have never talked to her. And we now have what I call a Batman relationship – Fictional!
PS: Chaalu: When someone try to get something using smart but wrong tactics, he/she is called “chaalu” (someone from the internet)