Today we have an interview with a special person – Anish Bhaskaran. He was my classmate in GEC Thrissur, and was supposed to be a genius, know-all guy of the college (regarding computer science and technology) at his time. You might have this false impression that to get an interview with him is an easy task for me as I was his classmate. But believe me, I have been trying to do this for about 4 years. All those years in college, I never got him alone as he was always surrounded by a group of beautiful girls (guys, u know how it feels like). After college, he was one among the very few who opted to work on cutting edge core computer science technology and hence to get some time out of his busy schedule is not so easy a task.. After constant mails on how much the necker cubicle readers are interested in his affairs, he finally agreed to do this interview. What follows is the interview…
Me: Where are you from? Nigeria?
AB: Good guess, but no.. I am from Thrissur, Kerala.
Me: You are supposed to be a computer science genius. So when did you realize that you are born for this?
AB: Well… It all started when my mathematics teacher punished me for not learning the multiplication table by-heart. I started realizing how important automation is..
Me: Wow.. that sounds really cool!!!!
Me: What period in your life do you consider the most beautiful, till date?
AB: Of course, my College Life
Me: Oh!! That is amazing.. because none of your classmates said so..
AB: Oh, yes.. They still have nightmares about the 4 years
Me: In spite of being the worst looking guy in the class you always managed to have a bunch of girls around you. What is the secret?
AB: That is top secret! Proprietary! You dont have an answer for that in this planet..
Me: Oh GOD! Are you from a different planet with super powers to attract girls?
AB: Huh, There is no planet with powers to attract girls. And my planet is not different.
Me: But we never saw you wear underwear over the pants. Is it not mandatory in your planet or you don’t have the habit of.. you know…
AB: Grr.. Comics dont always spread the correct news.. And over the years, you humans were humiliating us in all sorts of rubbish ways you can. And you’ll pay for that.
Me: You wont be attacking us for that sole reason. Right?
AB: How can you be so stupid. Why do you think my classmates were suffering for four years. I ill bring as much misery as I can to human kind.
Me: Well, but you cant succeed. We know your weakness. There is something that weakens you as kryptonite does to Superman.
AB: What is it?
Me: Segmentation Fault. I had seen you getting worried, sweating, and covering your face with your hands and falling into deep thoughts when you see that.
AB: You are mistaken dear. I repel segmentation faults as I attract girls.
Me: So, you want to avenge human beings for making fun of you and your planet through cartoons. But I have heard that you are a great promoter of FOSS. So, you think FOSS can eventually lead the human race to destruction?
AB: FOSS is a medium for me to meet more people. I want to infect the FOSS movement which is making the world a fairer place.
Me: What language do you speak in your planet. From the past acquaintance i had with you, i suppose it would be either C or assembly.
AB: People from my place dont like their culture to be known to others..
Me: Giggle.. I can see that..
AB: Hey, I am in a hurry. There are some serious bugs to be fixed. See you later..
Me: Wait, wait! Do you want to tell anything to necker cubicle readers?
AB: Oh.. YES. Keep safe distance from Vivek!
THE END (or maybe to be continued)